Can we have it all?

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

Buddha

We all strive for that something that will make our lives fulfilled. But what is it? For some, it can be a career for others a family. But for some, this search for happiness, a better life, or a better version of ourselves can become a never-ending journey. In search of these somewhat elusive answers, we may start to look for resources to seemingly make us feel better, this may include buying into the latest trends - endless watching of videos, reading books that are often empty premises, all the time comparing ourselves selves to other people. It may well become a bottomless pit of self disappointments, as well as hitting our wallets, all in the guise of us searching for something that is quite often unobtainable.

It’s all buy before you try!!!

For example… we live in an era of social media, forever showering us with glossy ads, influences who promise us - that if we change this, change that, we will find utopia. (ok a bit of an exaggeration, but you know what I mean!)

Furthermore, there are now literally thousands of people who claim to be experts on life and happiness (often ours - go figure). These lifestyle gurus and influencers will offer us tips, ideas, and bullet-proof ways of making us happy, perfect, either by improving our bodies, our minds, and maybe even our finances. Basically our whole life!!!!

How many times a day are you being bombarded with what you should do? How you could or ‘SHOULD’ get healthier, slimmer, prettier or more manly and of course richer. If you do this you will automatically be more successful and of course ultimate happiness will surely ensue.

But, all of this often puts us under more pressure and makes us question our own identity. We find ourselves questioning lots of aspects of our life that, until now, we thought were good for us. That was until we heard we should want more, that we need more and change more.

Search for Happiness

We start to wonder and ask ourselves: “Am I actually good enough?”; “Should I be more ambitious and look for a different job?” or “Should I look more like this?”, “Should I have this, why don’t I have this?”, “Why don’t I have this lifestyle, my life is boring.” In short, we start to compare ourselves to others, and now we feel inadequate and lose who we really are.

From the moment we give in to the “shoulds” we jump onto this never-ending rollercoaster ride, with lots of ups and downs, with literally no end in sight.

So, how do we know when it is enough - or even if we are happy with our results - when it is not up to us? If we allow someone else to define what makes us happy and fulfilled, how will we ever know when we have achieved this Nirvana state of mind and body we are looking for?

Think for a minute, ask yourself, am I chasing the impossible, am I doing these things because I want to - or am I just following the latest trend, feeling immense pressure and literally no enjoyment.

It’s no wonder so many of us feel confused, anxious, and worthless - We think we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

What can we do to get off this ride?

So what can you do? The first important step is to literally STOP, take a STEP BACK, ASK yourself - have you bought into this never-ending battle of trying to change who you are just because it’s the in thing to do? Or is someone or something else telling you what you should do?

Really think about what’s going on.

Ask yourself what am I really looking for? Is it even a realistic change, obtainable, or am I searching for the impossible? Why an I trying to change, for whom, and what?

You can also try to appreciate on all the things you are and not obsess on what you aren’t. Stop focusing on the negatives - I guarantee there are many positives. You are you, embrace it, learn to love it.

To end, I am not saying you can’t make any changes in your life, especially if you feel unhappy with it. Life is never still. It is always a work in progress, mostly full of ups and downs, decisions and changes. However, if you decide to make some changes, it should only ever be for you and you only. You can then feel proud of yourself and satisfaction and know you are actually more than good enough.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Confucius

When was the last time you did something just for fun?