Perfectionism
“If you aim to be something you are not, you will always fail. Aim to be you. Aim to look and act and think like you. Aim to be the truest version of you. Embrace that you-ness. Endorse it. Love it. Work hard at it. And don't give a second thought when people mock it or ridicule it. Most gossip is envy in disguise.”― Matt Haig
Striving to perfection seems to be a thing that we are obsessed with, this sense of needing ‘perfectionism’ can or will be present in every aspect of our lives. We may feel like we are in competition with the rest of the world - in a race to create the perfect life and be the ‘perfect human being’!!!!
We are now measuring success by not only the thickness of our wallets, but also by our possessions. We are transfixed on being perfect. It’s become a never ending challenge - everywhere we look or go we are bombarded with how we can, could, and should be better! ‘Striving for perfection is everything, everywhere! It’s so exhausting’.
So, is perfectionism is taking over individualism? Are you only perfect if your life is perfect, and is your life perfect if you have what the rest of the society deems as the necessary ingredients to create such existence - the perfect job, the best education, a beautiful successful family, the biggest house, the best car and the perfectly toned body that comes with the best everything. I am sure there is so many more of “the best” on the list, but I know you get my point!!
When we are busy looking for this often unobtainable perfect life, we forget to remember what our own needs and wants are! We keep chasing this dream, never quite being satisfied with what we have achieved. Always finding out that someone else has beat us to it, and has that perfect life we are aspiring to.
It’s bull****
Striving for perfectionism!
Most times, the ultimate price is unhappiness! Our self-esteem and self-worth suffer by constantly measuring our life against something that could be, for various reasons, unachievable. We have created this world for ourselves, in which we are constantly failing. We feel inadequate, insufficient and worthless. Feeling imperfect leads to a path of anxiety, sadness and depression. We try so hard to compete and to be like everyone else that we stop being happy in our own skin, in us!! We blame others for our shortcomings, judging them and trying to find faults in their life to make ourselves happier. We become the worst version of ourselves, whilst ironically trying to become this perfect self. We hate everyone, including ourselves, we cannot see a way out, as by now we are convinced and burdened with our own and others inadequacies and failings.
OK, so I’ll stop here, as it went all dark and gloomy (but sadly it’s the truth).
I am just trying to make you see how quickly we can go from this happy little kid, who is so content with the world that a shoe box is the most perfect toy ever, to a grown up who is miserable because he/she is never satisfied with anything in his/hers life (That’s pretty sad eh!!!)
This never ending path that leads us towards the perfect life makes us blind and oblivious to the life we already have! Yet, it really doesn’t have to be like this, surely, we can be happy with who and what we are. There is nothing wrong with wanting/striving, or being content as long as you are living your life with your values and beliefs, live your life as you. Know your worth.
You could take a leaf out of my book!
For example, people laugh when I often say, “I am perfect”. They look at me, they judge my clothes, my body, then my car, my house and even my husband and my children and see whatever they want to see. They decide that I am crazy!!!! After all, I do not look like a super model, my clothes or my car aren’t expensive, the house isn’t in the best location and my family aren’t exactly what we call the ‘The Brady Bunch’ . How can I even think I am on the path to the perfect life let alone claim it to be perfect?
Well, let me tell you. I have stopped to chase this world’s dreams and I am choosing things in my life that are suitable for me. I am me, and I am not trying to be someone else. I have accepted myself with all my shortcomings and I am more than happy with this.
It may not be what society deems perfect, but it’s pretty dam perfect for me!
So next time you feel down about your life because of someone else’s fortune, just look around and try to see what you have already achieved. Ask yourself if what you desire is realistic and if not, stop chasing this dream and start living the one you already have.